By Nicole Dillon, Vice President of Youth Initiatives at A Call to Men
We’re asking a lot of our young people right now.
We want them to rise, lead, break generational cycles, and show up as their full selves. But are we giving them the tools they need to do so?
As Vice President of Youth Initiatives at A Call to Men, I’ve had the privilege of walking alongside young people from all walks of life. And if there’s one truth I return to over and over again, it’s this: our youth are not the problem, they’re the pulse. If we want a better world, we have to listen to their heartbeat. We don’t need a research study to know that young people are struggling. But the data backs it up: Gen Z is grappling with record-high levels of anxiety, depression, and emotional isolation. Many are even turning to tools like AI just to feel heard. They are hungry for help, and in many cases, they don’t have the language to ask for it.
For many young people, especially those without strong community ties, their entire sense of self is being shaped by what they consume online. Social media is where they find connection, but also comparison. It’s where they seek validation, but often from personas that aren’t real. One of the most important ways we can support them is by helping them discern what’s authentic, and reminding them that who they are offline is more than enough.
Asking for help shouldn’t be a revolutionary act for boys. And yet, in too many spaces, it still is. I’ve learned that not every cry for help sounds like “I need therapy.” Sometimes, it shows up as disengagement. Anger. Silence. Or even humor. Our job as adults, mentors, and advocates is to remain curious, and meet behavior with compassion and authenticity. Young people have an incredible ability to detect inauthenticity. If you’re not real, they’ll feel it. That’s why the most impactful thing we can offer them isn’t always a plan. It’s ourselves. Our full, flawed, human selves. The ones who are willing to listen, adapt, and be led just as much as we lead.
Mentorship is about more than advice. It’s about embodiment. When we live our truth out loud, we show others what’s possible. If we want to create a world where boys and young men can show up vulnerably, we have to model what that looks like. That means challenging our own discomfort around affection, tenderness, and emotion. It means hugging your nephew and telling him you love him. It means letting a young person cry without rushing to fix it. It also means accepting them exactly as they are. Not as who they could be someday.
Some of the most powerful mentors I’ve ever had didn’t give me a checklist; they gave me their presence. One told me something I’ll never forget: “Sometimes life contracts, and sometimes it expands.” It was her way of reminding me that challenging moments are not the end of the story. That wisdom carried me through seasons of contraction, and now, I pass it on to the youth I work with today.
At A Call to Men, we have a powerful youth curriculum called Live Respect. It’s thoughtful, intentional, and grounded in data. When we partner with schools, we have the opportunity to engage in insightful conversations with students. However, our ultimate goal is to also connect with teachers, principals, parents, counselors, and peer groups. Why? Because the more touchpoints a young person has, the more supported they’ll feel. In an ideal world, we need to connect with the other adults in a young person’s life as a way to fortify their village. When a student sees the same message of care echoed in every adult around them, it’s transformative.
If I could leave every parent, educator, and community leader with one message, it’s this: working with youth is an invitation to do your own work. They will activate your insecurities, push your boundaries, and challenge what you thought you healed. But that’s the gift. When we commit to doing our inner work, we create more space for young people to do theirs. Every day, I ask myself, ‘What does 7-year-old Nicole need today?’ Because that little girl still lives in me, and I know she’d be proud of the woman I’ve become. Let’s do right by our inner children. And more importantly, let’s do right by the youth who are watching us. They deserve nothing less.
Takeaways for Those Supporting Youth Today:
- Be present, not perfect: Youth aren’t looking for someone who has it all figured out; they want someone who shows up with authenticity and care, even when it means throwing out the plan.
- Model vulnerability: For boys and young men, seeing adults, especially male figures, demonstrate softness and honesty can be life-changing. Show them what it looks like to be emotionally whole.
- Listen to what’s not being said: Not every young person can name what they’re going through. Pay attention to the quiet cues, and respond with empathy, not punishment.
- Build the village: Don’t operate in isolation. Involve families, educators, peer groups, and community leaders to create a network of care that supports young people.
- Meet youth where they are: Accept them as they are today, not just who you hope they’ll become tomorrow. That acceptance creates the trust needed for growth.
- Do your own work: Being around young people can activate old wounds. Let that be an invitation to reflect, heal, and grow right alongside them.
- Use the Live Respect curriculum: A Call to Men’s free, evidence-based program helps youth explore healthy masculinity and respectful relationships. It’s a powerful way to spark dialogue, deepen connection, and support their growth.